If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
