Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
