u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize