I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize