Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
