I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
