Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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