Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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