Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
