Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
