New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
