well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
