I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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