my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
