Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
