Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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