You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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