Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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