Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
