Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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