Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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