dude i'm inner monologue high
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
