saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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