Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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