Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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