you guys were way drunker than both of me
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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