do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize