just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
