how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize