remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
