she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
