I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
