I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
