So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
