i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
