i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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