I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
