and you said cock pushups were impossible
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
