I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
