Midget sex pt 2 tonight
are you so shy because you have an std?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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