my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
