But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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