yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
not ubering you a puppy
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
