I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
