he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize