You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
