its not stalking. its research.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
