I puked a lego.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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