Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
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