So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
