and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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