Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
