I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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