I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
