dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
