Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
