Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
