Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
