Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
