Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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