Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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