i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
