If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Of course I have a pirate flag
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize
