i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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